A hard, perfect first birth!
Our little man is finally here! Say hello to Isaiah.
Not sure how many of you know, but I have chosen to birth outside hospital. I chose this way because it was more fitted to my needs. I wanted a natural birth, without too many interventions, I wanted to be assisted by women only, I wanted my husband present at all times… And although that might be possible in a hospital, it’s not very likely you get it as you plan. Add to it that I do not speak German (yet) and I am trying to get by using English… a Birth House fit our needs perfectly.
It all started at home on a Monday afternoon. Scott was at work and I was alone at home, nesting, preparing the baby clothes and all that. I was in my 39th week. 38 weeks 4 days to be more exact. I was having no contractions whatsoever, but I felt like something is leaking. It wasn’t like you see it in the movies. It wasn’t a gush, it wasn’t like I have peed my pants. It was just a few drops here and there. After calling the midwife, she confirmed it was my waters breaking. It can happen in a gush or it can be more like a trickle.
I called Scott to tell him the news, but I assured him there is no rush because my contractions didn’t start yet. I just wanted him to know that anytime now I can call and ask him to come. No need to mention he was running out the door already the minute I mentioned the words “water” and “broke” together. And running he came all the way home. It’s a 20-25 minute walk, but he made it in what seemed like 5 minutes running! He came in, all sweaty and out of breath, to find me in the house, packing my bag, all calm and smiling. He looked like the one in labor, not me. We then waited at home until I started having contractions, about 2 hours later. I phoned my midwife telling her the contractions are less than 5 minutes apart, at which point she asked us to go over to the Birth House. She waited for us with a candle lit room, smelling of lavender. Scott brought our own music, but I must confess I can’t remember much of it. I know he spent time putting a perfect list together, and I was thankful to him for doing so. It’s just that once the active part of labor starts, you zone out and you’re not really focused on the music.
What followed was a normal labor, which at times I found harder than others. When I felt like being in water, I got in the tub. When I felt like being in bed, I went in bed. When I felt like getting on all fours, I got on all fours. Scott was with me and he was supportive the entire time, reminding me of the outcome. I must confess, there were moments when I thought I was going to explode. The pain was so strong I was begging for a C-section. But my husband and my midwife knew better than to listen to a woman in pain. They knew me and knew my desires, my real ones. They pushed through, encouraged me, brought sense into a senseless mind and I am so thankful for that.
The time came when the little boy was ready to face the world. Or so we thought. Many pushes later and what felt like forever, the midwife decided it’s time to intervene. His head was stuck and he was in distress. So she proceeded with an episiotomy. It wasn’t what I envisioned, but it was necessary. Needless to say, a couple more pushes and this tiny, perfect human being was out. He was purple and floppy like a fish! One strong rub on the back and he starts to move and turn pink. Seconds later he is on my chest! He was tired and so was I! His head was shaped like this super long cone and had a wound on the top… He had his eyes closed and made no sound. But he was breathing. He slowly proceeded to opening his eyes and looking curiously around. He makes noises but no cries. He was born calm and he stayed calm. I was overjoyed and started hyperventilating! 🙂 There were tears of joy, hugs and kisses. I could not believe I made a PERSON! It’s not a puppy, it’s not a doll, it’s a REAL human being that I just brought into the world. The feeling can not be described into words, it just can’t. We stayed this way for a long time. I was hugging him, and Scott was hugging us both! Perfection.
Later on Scott cut Isaiah’s ombilical cord and had his skin to skin time with his son. This man has lived through my labor intensely. He felt with me, he encouraged me, he held my hand, he kissed and wiped my forehead. Seeing him with his firstborn was incredible. My midwife asked Scott if he wanted to weigh the baby and do his first diaper change. Nervously, he said yes.
I am so thankful to have this opportunity to birth in peace, to let nature follow its course. I know many, many women only dream of this. For one reason or another, they can’t have it. I am truly blessed. Birth is beautiful! Whatever way you choose to do it, as long as you are at peace about it, it’s YOURS, it’s powerful, it’s beautiful. Embrace the power your body has to create life!