Don’t Be Moses
I had an argument with God yesterday. He is calling me to do more (start an English-speaking Bible study here in Germany) and I don’t feel like I’m ready yet. So I gave him a list of excuses–I’m learning how to be married, learning a new culture and language, still trying to get a consistent work schedule, just trying to stabilize my life still. It feels like I’m always learning, like I don’t have the answers. And God wants me to add more learning and some teaching to my plate. But with every excuse I offered, every time I tried to justify, God’s words just became clearer.
I wanted to focus on what I have to do now, and then serve God more actively later. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, and I know it. I was reminded of Moses and all the excuses he gave when God told him to go set the Israelites free. God took away every single one of Moses’ excuses, until Moses was forced to choose between following God or disobeying Him. God didn’t give him any other options, and He did the same with me yesterday.
I don’t want to be like Moses the Doubter, so I talked through everything with Ralu and she was very encouraging. I still have no idea when or how this will come together, but I’m going to give it all I have. I’m going to trust God. And I’m not going to try and control everything. My biggest objection to starting a Bible study is not knowing how it will turn out. I feel like I have to know all the answers and have a 5 year plan mapped out before I. I want to know the destination before I take the first step. But that’s a life without faith. It’s a boring life, honestly.
And I don’t want to live a boring life. I don’t want my wife to be trapped in a boring life. We want to serve God and honor Him. And that, my friends, is NEVER boring.
6 Therefore, I remind you to keep ablaze[a] the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God has not given us a spirit[b] of fearfulness, but one of power, love,and sound judgment.
2 Timothy 1:6-7 (HCSB)